We must change our relationship with masculinity to stop vulnerable men turning into Andrew Tate

International Men’s Day is on 19 November, an occasion to reflect not only on the issues men face, like mental health struggles, loneliness, and societal expectations, but also on how young men are navigating a new and troubling dynamic: the rise of online misogyny. High-profile influencers such as Andrew Tate have perpetuated a hyper-masculine narrative, glorifying outdated ideals of male worth – money, power, and dominance over women. But behind this façade lies a deeper con: a system profiting from male insecurity and emotional suppression.

The “manosphere,” a loosely connected network of online influencers, thrives on one dangerous lie: that showing vulnerability or emotional honesty makes a man weak. Ironically, this stoic ideal often drives young men to these platforms in search of validation, creating a feedback loop where they are both victims and perpetrators of harmful stereotypes.

At the heart of this problem lies a scam centuries in the making. Figures like Andrew Tate sell a lifestyle and ideology where success is narrowly defined – through wealth and control. A poll reported by Hope Not Hate found that 67% of young people had encountered Tate’s content. The pitch is simple: if you’re not winning by these standards, you’re failing as a man. This mindset traps young men in a patriarchal matrix that not only hurts women but also perpetuates damaging expectations for men themselves.

Today’s influencers repackage these ideals under the guise of modern “self-improvement”. But the reality is darker: they’re peddling shame, not empowerment, and profiting from the very system they claim to challenge.

The stoic mantra of “I’m fine” is both a shield and a trap. While pride in resilience can be positive, an inability to express emotions openly drives men into spaces where emotional distress is weaponized against them. The manosphere preys on this vulnerability, framing emotions as weakness while paradoxically fuelling anger and frustration—deeply emotional responses—to drive engagement.

To dismantle this matrix, men must first acknowledge that not being ‘fine’ is ok and that money and power are not the sole source of value we bring to society and our relationships. Until we as a society are able to rectify our relationship with masculinity, those most vulnerable will continue to have their insecurities exploited.

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I started Shout Out UK at 22, because I firmly believe education is the key to breaking the cycle. Our Political and Media Literacy programmes empower young people to critically assess the content they encounter online, fostering emotional resilience against misinformation and divisive narratives such as these. 

Media Literacy equips young men with the skills to question the intentions behind content, recognize bias, and resist manipulation. Misogynistic narratives are a symptom of a larger culture of disinformation that targets male insecurity; by teaching young people to navigate these waters critically, we build a foundation for inclusive, respectful attitudes.

Political Literacy, on the other hand, addresses the root causes of alienation. By providing young men with the tools to understand and engage with democracy, we combat the hopelessness and disengagement that drive them toward extreme narratives that line the pockets of the influencers who espouse them.

International Men’s Day offers a chance to redefine masculinity. It’s an opportunity to show young men that their worth isn’t tied to outdated ideals but to their ability to foster strength through empathy, and emotional resilience. Positive role models – men who embrace empathy and reject toxic masculinity – must take centre stage.

This means encouraging men to speak out against misogyny, not as bystanders, but in defence of how we want our gender to contribute to society and our gender’s relationship with society to grow. The fight against misogyny isn’t just about combating harmful influencers – it’s about addressing the systems and structures that make them so appealing.

To further this mission, Shout Out UK will soon be launching a series of online courses designed to combat online extreme misogyny. These courses will be tailored for both educational and corporate settings, providing practical tools to challenge toxic narratives and foster a more inclusive society for all. By investing in education, promoting emotional resilience, we can empower young men to reject the patriarchal matrix and redefine masculinity for future generations.

Haokan Zhang from Shout Out UK writers’ network reflects on men, social media and mental health

Growing up as a young man has not been easy, social media having such a massive impact on the way people think, talk and act; having to be what social media considers as ‘perfect’, but that perfection is nothing but a concept. This idea of perfection leads to the stigma behind men’s mental health, the necessity to be portrayed as strong and independent, to be like someone else rather than accepting our flaws and weaknesses. Many young men think that once they have achieved that ‘perfection’ it will make them happy – but this cannot be further from the truth. ‘Perfection’ cannot be achieved, as no one is perfect, and once young people realise that it can lead to detrimental mental health issues.

“40% of men in the UK who suffer from mental health issues, would not talk to close relatives, friends, or professionals about it, unless it’s their last choice. A society where you do not compare yourself to perfection, “but compare yourself with who you were yesterday” is the ideal mindset we should have.

“Positive fitness influencers can provide a realistic and balanced lifestyle – emphasising the importance of self-acceptance – which may lead to them starting the gym, eating healthier and being more active. However, influencers who promote extreme, unrealistic lifestyles can destroy a people’s self-esteem. By idealising unrealistic physiques and promoting strict, unhealthy routines, these influencers promote the idea of comparison, inadequacy, and low confidence. The best way to combat this is for individuals to realise that talking to someone else is not a weakness but a strength, having that strength to bring upmental health is not an easy task but can be easier with the right awareness.”

Matteo Bergamini MBE is founder of Shout Out UK, a multi-award winning social enterprise that provides impartial political and media literacy training and campaigns focused on democratic engagement and combatting disinformation online, tailored to local circumstances and culture.

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